OK, maybe the title is a bit overkill, but you opened the blog, didn't you?
My 10 year wedding anniversary was yesterday and although I am by no means a marriage expert, I thought it would be fun to put together a few tips that I’ve acquired over the last decade.
1. Never stop dating each other.
Even after the kids came, my husband and I always made time for date nights, and still do. We’re lucky enough to have plenty of family and friends nearby that love to babysit our kids. Even still, we sometimes hire a babysitter if no one is available and we think we are in need of a date night. I realized not everyone has the means to do this, so if going out isn’t an option, there’s other ways to “date”. Put the kids to bed and have dinner together in peace. Pour a glass of wine, share a meal and just talk to each other. Then snuggle up on the couch with a movie or good book. Believe me, you’ll be glad you did.
2. Always say good morning and goodnight.
My husband leaves for work pretty early in the morning, and let’s be honest, I’m still asleep 99% of the time. But I know that every morning before he leaves, he kisses me goodbye and says “I love you”. He has been doing this for 13 years (almost 3 years together before we got married). At the end of the day, we always make sure to say good night to each other too (even if we’re not particularly happy with each other).
3. Support each other.
No matter what. Whether it’s work, personal or otherwise, support the choices your spouse makes. Find out how you can help so he or she will be successful. We have both been business owners and we have both worked for other people or companies for the steady paycheck and benefits. We have supported each other through all of it. My husband has hung lanterns at venues, and he’s driven to Maine to be my assistant when a couple changed their venue and I was 6 months pregnant. I’ve done marketing and promoted his business. And we were both there for each other when we decided we didn’t want to be business owners anymore, or wanted to change directions. Just be supportive.
4. Don’t take each other for granted.
This seems like an obvious one, but it’s easy to let this happen. I know that my husband will do anything for me and our boys and I sometimes forget that he doesn’t have to do much of what he does. Be gracious towards each other.
5. Be friends.
We have been best friends since day one. Tell each other secrets. Have an end-of-the-day drink together. Call or text each other throughout the day if your job allows it. Tell each other about everyday things that happen to you. Laugh together. Then go to sleep together at the end of the day.
I know planning a wedding is fun, but the real fun comes during the marriage. You'll go through many ups and downs (hopefully more ups), but if you take even a little piece of this to heart, you will be happy for many years to come!
