Who Gets a Plus One for Your Wedding?

Posted on November 13, 2018 at 9:23 am by Carisa Lockery

I recently had a Mother of the Bride ask me how to tell a guest (or guests) that they cannot bring a plus one to a wedding. This is a touchy subject for so many couples planning their wedding. Maybe it's just not in the budget to have all these extra people. Maybe their venue is limited on space and they simply cannot invite that many people. Maybe the guest isn't in a relationship, so the couple just didn't think to include a plus one. Whatever the reason might be, I'm going to address some etiquette guidelines of inviting a plus one.

1. Invite a plus one if the guest is in a long-term relationship.

The rule of thumb is that if the guest is in a committed, long-term relationship, invite them both. There's really no way around this one. If your guest is engaged, living with someone, or has been with the same person for over a year, they both get invited. You'd want the same if the tables were turned.

2. Invite a plus one for each member of your bridal party.

Even if someone in your bridal party isn't in a committed relationship, he or she should still be extended the courtesy of a plus one.

Photo courtesy Kevin Kelley Photography

3. Invite anyone that has been invited to the bridal shower.

Another standard rule is that if you invite someone to the bridal shower, they get an invite to the wedding. Keep this in mind when you are inviting the girl your brother just met at the bar to your shower just to get a few extra gifts. Will he want her at the wedding? Will YOU want her at the wedding? If not, better keep her off the guest list for both.

4. Address the envelope accordingly.

When sending out the wedding invitations, the envelope should be the first indicator as to who is invited.

Mr. John Smith = solo
Mr. John Smith & Guest (or a specific name instead of "Guest" = clearly indicates that 2 people are invited.

Also, on the RSVP card you can include a line that says something along the lines of "1 (or 2) seats have been reserved in your honor".

If your guest is still insisting on inviting a plus one after all that, try saying something like this: "I'm so excited that you are able to make it to my wedding! I can't wait to see you! Unfortunately, we have a limited number of seats at the venue, and we are pretty maxed out. I don't think there will be enough space for you to bring a guest. But don't worry, I'll be sure to seat you with people that you know!".

About the Author

Carisa Lockery

Thanks for stopping by. I'm so excited that you decided to learn more about me!

First and foremost, I am a wife and mother to 2 boys, Kyle and Mason. They're part of the reason that I continued to pursue my dream of being a business owner. Having the ability to make my own hours and still be present for them is invaluable, and an experience for which I will forever be indebted to my amazing husband.

As a kid, I was always organizing everything. I loved stationary and paper and pens and markers and journals and planners and anything else that allowed me to plan and organize. Trapper Keepers and Lisa Frank? Yes, PLEASE! As I got older, that love for organization became a love for planning, particularly fun things like events. I woke up one day with the thought, “Could I actually make a living doing this?”. I had gone to Albertus Magnus College in New Haven, CT for my Bachelor's Degree in Communications, so I had a little knowledge about business and how they worked. When the idea began to formulate more and more in my head, I decided to take my education even further and pursue a Master of Business Administration Degree. Right after I earned this degree, I had my first son, so the timing was perfect! I was able to be home with him during the week while my husband worked, and work at night and on the weekends, when most events took place!

More than 10 years later, I still love bringing the idea and concept of a wedding or event into reality. Each one plays out differently, and I love that! It keeps things fresh and exciting! I can't wait to hear from you and learn all about how I can help with your next event!

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